Talking about social media madness, today I'll be taking a look into this social media network called INSTAGRAM.
Nigerian youths nowadays has seen Instagram as a photoshop software that they can use to filter the ‘POMO’ in their food to look like the Mr Biggs grilled chicken, Niggas now frequent the gym near to their house or the one at their backyard, Baes would order ‘Prawn Vermicelli’ as longs as it gonna look good on instagram. Girls and Boys now visit shoprite daily, they shop for short funny looking clothes they can wear comfortably only in front of a digital camera so @lindaikeji or @bellanaija could notice them ?
Disclaimer: The terms ‘guys, girls, niggas, baes’ used in the context of this post are limited to individuals guilty of two and above Instagram (IG) crimes listed herein.
The photos of everyone living the classy life, smiling on IG makes me wonder if Nigerians were truly angry with ‘Jonathan’ Government. Been trying to ignore some crazy behavior on IG but I cant anymore….Lemme start by listing them one by one.
Living Standards has changed
Old and worn out high heel shoes are so new on IG. Even when they caption the photos ‘off to the market’ they are still rocking one six inches Versace shoes and Channel bags. How come I don’t come across these high heeled girls in the market ?
Same thing on Saturday, but a total different thing on Sunday which is know as the Christmas day of Instagram. Youths no longer attend churches/mosques even shrines to listen to the word of God. They are more concerned about taking selfies and posting OOTD.
Still don’t understand why a girl that posted a half naked photo and the caption of the photo reads : ‘The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to success, if education is the key, then knowledge is power’ #JesusBae #AyanfeSatiramoni #IyawoOrunmila.
No Sinner on IG
Everybody most especially the youths is either a mommy’s boy or daddy’s girl including my friend Chinedu that fights with his father everyday. If you think ‘m exaggerating then visit Instagram on Father’s day…Jesu Oluwaooooo…..Not only will they use filters to filter their DNA out of their fathers, they also use one mumu application to turn their pops head into turn and give their father six feets.
Valentine’s Day is nothing but short of a miracle.
You think father’s day is annoying, allow me to be your online tour guide on IG during the Lovers day. If you don’t have a bae…yeh….you are completely finished.
That is the day they start showcasing the gifts they collected ten years ago, six months ago on IG like an online trade fair is going on, fake or stolen…everything can look new with the right filter…*mojeri ore mi Chinedu*
Backstabbing from Friends
Just last week , I clicked on the explore section on IG and found my friend (Chinedu)’s picture on the first row…There on IG, he looked like he has never drank garri before or he has never sat on a toilet seat before.
All his photos were taken at shoprite, exotic locations giving him that one trillion dollar look, I had no idea it was Chinedu until I saw that my necklace he borrowed from me. When I finally came back to my senses that @iamrichdopeandstrong****** was no other person than Chinedu.
I posted: “Jesus Christ! Nedu!!!! So na you be this ?KFB.”
When I logged in 1hr 30mins later, Chinedu had blocked me and activated private user mood on Instagram. Its people like chinedu that usually waste their likes on Drake and Meek Mills and forget the less privilege like me hustling for 7likes per photo.
Liars of the Day
Niggas are busy waking up in a brand new buggatti/Ferrari and I am just chilling on the bench watching them. Have you seen this trend called 5questions ? I read Chinedu’s own from his timeline and I cried. He said he is a motivational speaker, a macaroni lover, a puppy lover, a poet and a gay rights activist (Nibo????)
He even said Jacuzzi dips are his ways of unwinding; this is someone that takes his bath with rubber bucket and supreme ice cream plates oh.
Too many senseless posts
Davido and his thousands of followers would just post the lace of his shoes with the caption:
‘Old Roger is dead and gone to his grave brrruuuhhhhh!!!’
Next thing that follows are the comments from the guys…..
Dayum!
Preach it!!!
Word Bruh!!!
Old Roger mad shit!!!
This is Deep!!!!
We ballin like them Old Roger!!!
Old Roger, mad niccur AF!
Comment from the ladies
Kfbpwwweeeeaaassseeee
25DE657D tenks
Lmao, D’vido is so funny…..so cute.
34th time I’m playing aye today. Follow back, my crush.
So many that I cant mention….this is where I have to say ‘Goodbye, have a nice weekend’, if you like don’t go to Church, you hear ??? start taking helfies!!!!
Written by Khaleefah Banks (K2DB).
Follow on Twitter @Kha_Lee_Fah
Follow on Instagram @Official_k2db
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